Hi. The mammogram was all clear, which is both wonderful and hard to believe. I don't know, there is a certain world of suspended animation about being a survivor. Since Wednesday, when I had the mammo I've been struggling a bit. It's not awful, but it's hard. I believe I'm feeling the aftermath of "steeling" myself against the threat of more cancer. Now the threat is gone and my body is still dealing with all the stress hormones and cortisol. Thanks for your support and continued interest. It will be four years this August. The technician said that after next year's mammo, I will no longer have to have "diagnostic" mammos, and that I won't have to wait around to hear the results when it is taken, I can just go home. For some reason, getting this news provides no relief. I feel like I'm walking a tight rope. I'm sure it's natural to be experiencing this at this stage of survivorship. Right now I'm just pissed that I had to go through it at all. I'm being gentle with myself and moving along. Its just odd: to be given the green light. I don't know which road to choose, and I am more than half-way through with my life. How long will the road be? How do I want to spend my time? Who do I want to spend it with? Where do I want to go?
Have a beautiful day, one and all.
Love
Sue
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