CORTISONE SHOT

All I can say is, getting the cortisone shot yesterday was the most painful thing I have EVER experienced in my entire life. More painful than any of the breast things. Way more painful. I started screaming. He couldn't even finish giving me the whole dose in my wrist because I was screaming and crying so loudly. I ended up laying down on the table in the room because my legs were wobbly when I got up from the chair. To those people who told me it wouldn't hurt that much, or that I'd just feel a lot of pressure, I say phooey. This was AWFUL with a capital A. It was awful. Awful. Awful. Part of the extreme reaction I had was due to the fact that it stirred up everything about the breast cancer and treatment that involved my body. How invasive it all was. How terrible. I'm just getting in touch with those feelings now. Having the visual journal is perfect. I plan to write and paint and draw about the cortisone shot tonight. I decided to have him do my right hand first -- both the thumb and the wrist -- to see how that goes. In a few weeks I have an appointment with a physician's assistant - a WOMAN - who will, I'm sure, be more sensitive to my needs, pain, and fears. (Sorry guys, but that's the way it is. In general, women are more sensitive in empathic.)

The "pad" of my right thumb is definitely much less swollen. I wouldn't say it feels any better in terms of functionality, but I guess it is more flexible. Probably due to the decrease in inflammation. I'm not sure if I'll get the left hand done. The experience was so $%(#-ing traumatic. I'll see how it goes.

In the meantime, I'm so glad it's over. For those of you who need to get cortisone shots for trigger thumb or De Quervain's, be sure to bring someone with you to drive home. It was a comfort to have my house-mate, Chris, there in the waiting room when I emerged. I felt very weak. And, know that it will HURT. In the words of the nurse, "It hurts like hell." And so it does. Awful. Awful. Awful.

I need to get back to work on the tour. I just got word that I'll be giving a presentation at the United States Psychiatric Rehabilitation Conference in Boston in June.

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Love to all,
Sue