PAIN

Hi

I just posted the following on a Cancer site. The thread I responded to can be seen HERE.

Hi. I started Tamoxifen back in the summer of 2009 after surgery (Sept. 08), four rounds of chemo, and six weeks of radiation. Within weeks my mood had crashed and I was having suicidal thoughts. I have a history of depression and suicide attempts, so I went off Tamoxifen. This, after reporting it to my oncologist and having her say that none of it could be from the Tamoxifen. [After she said that, I checked online, and sure enough, found women with the same experience. So, I went off it, the symptoms got better, and I weaned myself onto it again, within weeks the symptoms returned. That's when I insisted I go off of it.]

I had my ovaries removed on Oct. 8, 2009, to get rid of most of the estrogen (my mother died of ovarian cancer in 1980, when I was 14). I started Armidex, and my feet and hands swelled up, hard to walk, really painful hips when I slept. I can't remember what else. I sent my oncologist pictures of my feet and hands. She said to stop the drug. I started Femara, and within a month or so developed trigger thumb in my right hand. My oncologist said that trigger thumb cannot be caused my Femara. I looked online and sure enough, many women have developed trigger thumb on Femara.

I went to an orthopedist and he wanted to give me cortisone shots. I don't want more shots. I went to a hand specialist and he made splints for my thumbs, which helped (by the time I saw him I had developed trigger thumb in my other hand too). Oh, by the way, I earn my living by using my hands, so now I'm faced with quitting one of my jobs as a window designer.

Now I can't do much with my hands without experiencing pain. I can't do any of the things I once enjoyed pain-free like making jewelry, writing in my journal, gardening, walking my dogs (it kills to unclick their collars), creating art, cutting paper with scissors (one of my all-time favorites) anything, really, do to with fine motor skills -- cooking, cleaning, lifting heavy objects (which is one of my favorite things to do), rearranging furniture to make my home nicer, folding laundry, working on my house, folding up a futon couch, once it's opened up. Fixing things in my house, mowing my lawn, anything. Counting change at work, making change at work, vacuuming at work, moving fixtures, anything. I feel like a prisoner in my own body.

In any case, the point of me writing is, I am thinking of stopping the Femara to start Aromicin, but after reading the posts here I don't know if it will make a difference. I don't know what to do. I'm also thinking of stopping Femara and not taking anything else for that matter. Like someone else wrote here, I'd rather go through chemo again than live with this.

One thing that just occurred to me though, is to get a second opinion. Maybe I'll look into that.

Good luck to everyone.

Blessings,

Sue

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I'm sitting here crying. I don't know what to do. If I could do anything I would pay someone to come and clean my house, rent out the back bedroom, and leave here for a while. Go somewhere warm. I don't want to be here this winter. I don't care where I am, as long as it's warm. I don't even think I can shovel anyway (another thing I used to like to do). I certainly can't scrape ice. I haven't taken Femara for a few days because my insurance got screwed up and I haven't had the med, so maybe I'll just stop taking it altogether, just to see what happens. It would be nice to live without pain for a while. I don't know how people do it, who have arthritis. I can't even imagine. The worst part is not being able to do the things I like to do, especially anything related to creating art.

I've got to go.

sue